Unexpected Love
by shadowdelta47
Summary: Ep. 9: Bruiser has been feeling a bit lonely lately, so Shadow tries to cheer him up by taking him universe-hopping. However, when they end up in South Park, Buiser ends up meeting the "girl" of his dreams...
1. Chapter 1

**Yup...you saw right. I'm doing one of THOSE fics. Don't blame me, blame the internet. It does those things TO YOUR MIND...**

 **Also, no regrets. I'm going through with this all the way.**

It was just another day in Shadow and Sari's apartment. Bruiser was curled up next to the couch, half-asleep. Gir and Space Core suddenly rolled in, honking like geese and running around the room. Bruiser tried to ignore them and sleep, but then they both started jumping on the couch, continuing their honking. Bruiser immediately got fed up, and screeched loudly at the two robots, causing them both to scream and run outside.

Bruiser huffed and settled back into his sleeping position. Ever since Shadow had decided to take in the xeno hybrid, he was treated quite well, being allowed free reign of the apartment and a nice meal of meat chunks and dead mice every day. But there was a bit of emptiness that Bruiser felt that he couldn't explain. It was like something was missing, but he didn't know what...

At that moment, the front door opened, and Shadow walked in holding a robot head. "Geez, Assaultrons are a pain in the ass. Least I saved that settlement n the Fallout universe, or else it would have been war all over again." He plopped down on the couch and switched on the TV, then noticed Bruiser slumped next to him. "Hey buddy, what's wrong?" He asked, giving his xeno buddy a soft pat on the head.

Bruiser sighed heavily, and jumped up on the couch next to Shadow, and leaned against him. "Feel miserable...don't know why..."

"Mmm...were Gir and Space Core giving you a hard time again?" Shadow asked.

Bruiser nodded. "Not the problem though...feel empty...lonely..."

"Hey c'mon," Shadow said. "I know I'm not around much, but you can't be THAT lonely."

Bruiser jumped off the couch, and pulled out something from under it. Shadow took a look to see a complete recreation of Van Gogh's Starry Night, on piece of cardboard done entirely out of scratch marks.

"Okay, nevermind." Shadow said, surprised. "Y'know, we got some time before Sari gets home. Why don't you come universe-hopping with me?"

Bruiser cocked his head in confusion.

"It's when I just cruise through the multiverse just for fun, looking at different universe." Shadow explained. "C'mon, I'm sure it's just what you need to get out of your funk."

Bruiser stared at the floor, thinking it over. Then he sighed and nodded.

"That's the spirit!" Shadow opened up a rift and the two hopped right through it. They soon found themselves in the vast infinite reaches of subspace.

Bruiser looked around in amazement. He had only been here once before, when Shadow took him to his universe, and he wasn't there long. Looking at it now, this place seemed like it went on forever.

"This way Bruiser. Just gooo with the flooow." Shadow floated through the inky blackness, relaxing on his back. Bruiser tried dog-paddling, though it didn't get him far.

"Okay, let's see," Shadow said, looking over the points of light that were different universes. "Eeny meeny miney...this one." Shadow pointed at one universe, and a rift opened up for them to enter.

Soon, Shadow and Bruiser landed in a blanket of snow on a large mountain.

"Okay...now let's get a good look of our surroundings and - ah, dammit."

Bruiser turned to where Shadow was looking, and saw a small town in the distance. There was sign just a few feet from them, that read, "South Park."

Shadow sighed heavily. "I was really hoping I wouldn't have to end up back here. Fine, whatever. I'll give the dime tour Bruiser, then we can go home."

The two began walking down the mountain towards town.


	2. Chapter 2

"C'mon fatass, where are you taking us?" Kyle said, annoyed as always. Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman were walking down the sidewalk of South Park, all dressed in their medieval costumes. Cartman was dressed as the Grand Wizard, Kyle as the Elf King, Stan in his warrior garb, and of course, Princess Kenny.

"C'mon Eric, we've been walking around forever." Stan said. "Can't you just tell us where we're going?"

"Patience, fellow travelers!" Cartman said. "We shall arrive soon at the the palace of the Troll King, and claim his meaty treasure!"

"And what treasure is that?" Kyle said, suspicion in his voice.

"The new Nashville Hot Chicken at KFC."

Everyone except Cartman stopped in their tracks. "What?""

"Look, it's this brand new chicken that KFC started selling, and I haven't gotten to try it AT ALL, because everyone keeps fucking buying it all! So I brought you guys to come help me raid KFC Lord-of-Rings style."

Kenny, Kyle, and Stan looked at Cartman with disbelief for a moment. "Cartman, that's stupid. You're stupid. I'm going home." Kyle said, turning around walking in the opposite direction.

"I'm with Kyle. Later Cartman." Stan turned and began following Kyle.

"Oh c'mon guys! I'll give you guys some of the chicken I claim! One piece each!" Cartman turned to Kenny. "You'll stay with me, right Kenny?"

Kenny flipped Cartman the bird, and also left.

"Fine, screw you assholes! I'll raid KFC by myself! And I'm not sharing any chicken!" Cartman then turned and bumped into Shadow.

Cartman looked up into and saw Shadow's face. " Oh great..it's you."

Shadow looked down and saw Cartman. "Ugh...hello Newman.

"My name's Cartman, asshole."

"I know that. You just remind me of Newman, but as a bigger jerk."

Cartman grit his teeth in anger. " Whatever. What do you want?"

"Nothing with you," Shadow said. "I was just universe-hopping with a friend trying to cheer him up."

Cartman looked around and behind Shadow. "What friend?"

Loud screaming was suddenly heard from around the corner of Tom's Rhinoplasty, and Stan, Kyle, and Kenny ran up from behind the corner till they came up to Cartman and Shadow.

"Dude! We just saw an alien down the street!" Stan said, shaken up with fear.

"Please Stan, you don't have to lie to me," Cartman said, a smug smile on his face. "I know that you guys have finally realized the true value of KFC, so let's-"

At that moment, Bruiser trotted up from behind Shadow.

"OMIGAWD, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Cartman screamed, as he immediately ran behind Kyle and cowered like a puppy.

"What was that you were sayin about me lying? "

"Oh, there you are Bruiser." Shadow said as he noticed his buddy and gave him a pat on the head. " Guys , this my pet slash friend Bruiser."

"Wait, that thing is your pet?" Kyle asked pointing at Bruiser.

"Yes, but he's not a thing, he's my friend," Shadow stated. "I know you guys were a little freaked out by him, but he's really friendly."

Bruiser walked up to the four boys and smiled.

"Okay...he's still kinda creepy though," Stan said.

"He's more than creepy! He's a monster! He'll kill us all and lay eggs in our brains!" Cartman said, backing away from Bruiser.

"Okay first off, he's male, so he can't lay eggs." Shadow stated. "Second, Bruiser doesn't kill without reason."

"Aha! So you admit to his savage nature!"

"That doesn't matter! He's partly human, so he's just like you and me!"

"Really? I don't see claws and a tail on my body anywhere."

"Why do you have to be such a racist asshole?" Shadow yelled, getting up in Cartman's face.

"Hey, I don't want my face bitten off by your 'friend'!" Cartman yelled back.

Bruiser watched as Shadow and Cartman argued between each other, and immediately got bored. He looked over to the other boys, then suddenly took notice of Kenny, still in his Princess Kenny attire. Bruiser suddenly felt a warm feeling in his heart, as he looked at this beautiful "girl". He was entranced by her long blonde hair, her deep blue eyes...Bruiser remembered Shadow describing this feeling once as "love."

Stan noticed Bruiser staring at Kenny intently. "Dude, the alien's staring at you." He said, poking Kenny.

Kenny looked over to see Bruiser suddenly slinking over to him. He circled Kenny for a bit, sniffing him like a cat sniffs out it's prey. Then he sat up on his hindlegs, and looked Kenny straight in the eyes. Kenny felt a bit intimidated, stepping back a bit.

"Okay...I think you're fine as long as you don't move." Stan reassured Kenny.

Bruiser was silent for a minute, then he said to Kenny "You're pretty..."

"Um...thanks?" Kenny muffled through his parka. Suddenly, Bruiserwrapped Kenny up in his tail, gripping him tight.

"H -hey! What the hell are you doing?" Stan yelled, lunging for Bruiser.

The half xeno easily dodged him, then ran off, Kenny in tow.

"Did he just kidnap Kenny?" Kyle said in disbelief.

"We gotta save him!" Stan cried. "Cartman, we gotta save Kenny!"

"I bet you brought that thing to kill us all!" Eric yelled, still arguing with Shadow. "Especially me, because you're jealous of how awesome I am!"

"Cartman, I hate you with every fiber of my being, and if I did want to kill everyone, I wouldn't just use Bruiser! I blow you up into a million pieces!" Shadow yelled back.

"GUYS!"

Cartman and Shadow turned to face Kyle. "WHAT!?"

"Did you not just notice that Kenny has been kidnapped by Shadow's pet?"

Cartman and Shadow were both silent for a moment. Then Cartman started laughing like a maniac. "Ha! I knew that he was nothing but a savage monster!"

"Why would Bruiser just snatch up Kenny? He only does something weird for good -ooooooh." Shadow said, reaching a realization.

"What is it?"

"Did Kenny still have his Princess Kenny costume on?"

"Dude, we all have our costumes." Stan said.

"Then that would explain it. The whole reason I brought him out universe-hopping with me was because he felt miserable and lonely. Guess I didn't realize that he was feeling THAT type of loneliness." Shadow said, concern in his voice. "I guess he mistook Kenny for a girl, and ran of with him."

"Wow, your alien murder dog must be pretty dumb to think Kenny was a girl in THAT outfit." Eric replied.

"Cartman, shut the hell up."

"Well, we gotta go find them!" Kyle said. "Who knows what Bruiser will do?"

"He left a trail, so it won't be hard." Stan said, pointing at the traces of snow Bruiser left on the sidewalk.

"Alright guys let's go!" Shadow, Kyle, and Stan ran off following the tracks, with Cartman following reluctantly behind.

"Great, guess this means no chicken." Cartman mumbled to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Kenny struggled in Bruiser's tight tail grip, as the half-xeno walked down the road with him. Bruiser himself was thinking about how he would win this girl's heart. Then, he remembered that romantic movie he saw the other night with Shadow. The guy in the movie gave the girl a gift, then took her to dinner. They watched the sunset together, then the guy took the girl back to his house to...do stuff. Shadow didn't let Bruiser watch anything after that, so he was a bit confused on that part. But he knew that all he had to do was copy what the guy did in the movie, and this girl would like him! Bruiser chuckled at his genius.

Meanwhile, Kenny had managed to loosen his parka enough so that his mouth stuck out. "Hey!" he yelled at Bruiser. "Put me down, you stupid alien!"

Bruiser ignored Kenny, searching for somewhere he could get a gift.

"Didn't you hear me? Put me down!" Kenny yelled again, struggling to escape his bonds.

Bruiser then spotted a flower shop ahead, and ran towards excitedly, dragging Kenny behind him.

As the two entered, they were greeted by a cheerful lady behind the register. "Welcome to Daisy's Flowers, where our flowers are in bloom all year long!' she said in a high-pitched happy voice. "How may I help you today?"

Bruiser looked around at the various blooming plants, then picked one pink lotus flower up with his teeth.

"Oh, what a fine choice!" the lady commented. "That's one of our best sellers, which can sell to you for only-"

Bruiser didn't listen as he immediately ran out the door with the one flower he picked.

"W-wait! You have to pay for that!" The lady exclaimed. She ran out the door, but found that the half-xeno had disappeared.

"*sigh* This is what I get for running a simple flower shop..." She then noticed three boys and a teenager running up to her.

"Excuse me, haven't seen two boys together, have you?" Kyle asked the lady.

"One was wearing an orange parka, the other had brown hair and alien body parts." Shadow explained.

"Oh yes! They just stole one of my flowers and ran off!" the lady said.

"Look, the trail picks up over here!" Stan said, pointing to some tracks on the other side of the street.

"The hunt continues," Cartman said, and the three began to follow the trail again.

Meanwhile, Bruiser had decided to pause in an alleyway for the moment.

"So you stole a flower," Kenny said to him. "What are you gonna do, eat it?"

Bruiser took the flower, and slowly placed it in Kenny's hair. "For you." he said, smiling at him.

"Oh. Well, thanks..." Kenny said, a little flattered. "But don't think I'm still mad at you for kidnapping me!"

Bruiser then picked up Kenny again and started making his way downtown.

"H-hey! Where are you taking me now?" Kenny protested.


	4. Chapter 4

Bruiser made his way downtown, to enact the next part of his romance plan. But he couldn't find any fancy diner or restaurants, so he settled for the City Wok restaurant nearby.

"Oh hey, a restaurant?" Kenny said, noticing where Bruiser had taken them. "Well, I am a bit hungry..."

Bruiser entered and walked up to the counter, dragging Kenny behind him. He looked at the menu, surveying the many options.

"Hewo, what would you wike to order?" said the man behind the counter.

"Meat." Bruiser simply replied.

"Yes, but which meat?"

"Meat."

"...pork it is."

Bruiser and Kenny took a booth seat near an open window, and waited for their food. Kenny noticed Bruiser had loosened his tail grip, and decided to use this chance to escape. Being careful to make sure Bruiser wouldn't notice, Kenny slowly wriggled from his tail prison. Just as he got free and was slowly leaving his seat, Bruiser sniffed the air and smiled as he saw the food being brought to their table. Kenny quickly got back in his seat, and re-wrapped himself in Bruiser's tail.

The waiter placed the food on the table, which consisted of Chinese pork, pork dumplings, and yellow rice. Bruiser immediately went to town on the pork, as pieces went flying and fell on the floor. Kenny, a bit disgusted, slowly started to eat a bit of the yellow rice. "So, considering what happened with the flower, how are you going to pay for this?"

Bruiser stopped his savage feasting for a moment, sauce dripping from his face. He didn't think about that part, and he didn't want to get in any trouble. He then noticed a random twenty-dollar bill floating through the wind outside the window. He quickly snatched it, placed on the table next to the food, and continued to ravage his food.

"Wow, that was...really convenient." Kenny said, a bit surprised. He continued to nibble away at his rice, bit by bit. Eventually, Bruiser finished his meal. He licked at some of the sauce on his claws, while Kenny couldn't help but stare.

"Um..you've got a little something..." Kenny said, gesturing to the sauce on his face. "...around your face area."

Bruiser blinked, then tried to wipe some of the sauce off his face. Unfortunately, he ended up smearing it over his face more.

"*sigh* Here, let me." Kenny grabbed a napkin, reached over, and started to clean Bruiser's face. Bruiser went still, as Kenny wiped the sauce off his face, bit by bit. When Kenny finished, Bruiser's face was clean and smooth, and he was blushing deeply.

"Thanks..." he mumbled.

Kenny gave a small smile. "I'd rather you not go around like that if I have to be stuck with you for the day."

"AHA!"

Both boys looked out the window to see Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Shadow outside the window.

"Give us back our friend, alien creep!" Stan shouted.

"C'mon Bruiser, you're better than this. Just give back Kenny and things won't have to turn ugly." Shadow said.

Bruiser immediately bolted out of the restaurant, Kenny in tow.

"After him!" Cartman yelled, and the group ran quickly behind Bruiser. They ran down street after street, but they eventually lost the xeno and his captive.

"Damn, we lost him again!" Shadow said, a bit disappointed.

"Hold up guys, there's some tracks leading this way!" Kyle said, pointing to some tracks in the snow, leading up to mountain.

"Alright guys, he's cornered now. Let's get that freak!" Cartman shouted confidently.

"I'm right here y'know," Shadow said in an angry tone. "And he's not a freak, he's just someone driven by the passion of love."

"Whatever guys, let's go alreay!" Stan said. They all then began their climb up the mountain.


	5. Chapter 5

Bruiser kept running through the snow, up the mountain, without stopping. Kenny, still in his grasp, had accepted his fate, and just sat in Bruiser's tail coils.

 _"He's been dragging me around all day, and for what?"_ Kenny thought to himself. _"He could have eviscerated and eaten me a thousand times over by now, but he's just been really nice to me. He got me a flower, he took me to lunch-"_

Then it hit him. Maybe the alien...liked him?

 _"But why would he-"_ Kenny looked down and realized he was still in his Princess Kenny outfit. _"...oh."_

Kenny felt a tap on his shoulder. Kenny turned to see Bruiser pointing at the horizon. The sun was setting, which was beautiful sight to see, especially on the side of the mountain.

"Oh...it's a nice view from up here." Kenny said, admiring the sunset. Bruiser sidled up next to him, and leaned on him. He made a weird noise kind of like a cat purring, but more high-pitched.

Kenny blushed a little bit. "Umm...y'know today has been nice and all, but...I should probably tell you the truth."

Bruiser looked at Kenny with a look of confusion.

Kenny took off his wig and hood, showing his face. "I'm actually a guy. I just dress up like a girl sometimes...not that I'm a cross-dresser or anything."

Bruiser blinked, and looked at Kenny again. He took a long look at him. Then, he gritted his teeth and made a loud angry screech.

 _"Well, I'm screwed now."_ Kenny thought, cowering in fear.

"Liar..."Bruiser said, staring at Kenny with a horrible ferocity. He slowly walked over to Kenny until he was towering over him. His tail slowly lifted into the air, and aimed for Kenny's head. Kenny closed his eyes, preparing for yet another death.

There was a loud thunk. But Kenny didn't feel anything. He opened his eyes to find that Bruiser was gone. He looked himself over, and there wasn't an injury on his body. Then he noticed the large scrape in the snow next to him.

 _"He didn't kill me...but why?"_ Kenny wondered to himself. _"I told him the truth, and he could have just torn me to shreds..."_

He noticed some tracks next to the scrape, leading towards a nearby cave leading into the mountain.

Kenny sat in the snow, staring at the cave. He could just leave the alien there, seeing as he had just dragged him around all day. But something in his heart said otherwise...

Kenny sighed, got up, and walked inside the cave. _"I must be crazy..."_ he thought to himself, as he entered the dark rocky chamber.

Kenny couldn't see much inside the cave. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he heard a small whining sound. He followed his ears, as he neared the strange noise. He turned a corner, and found Bruiser curled up in a corner. He was silently sobbing to himself, faced against the wall.

Kenny sat down next to him. "Hey there."

Bruiser jumped a bit, and turned to see Kenny next to him.

"Look, I know you're a bit...disappointed, but it's nothing to be upset over." Kenny gave Bruiser a soft pat on the head. "There's plenty of fish in the sea."

"Don't want fish," Bruiser said. "Want friend...close friend. Someone who loves me for who I am." Bruiser sniffed as a few more tears dropped from his eyes. "Everyone I meet afraid of me...think I'm monster..." He looked at Kenny. "That's why I took you. Thought I could show you I'm not monster..."

"So wait...it didn't really matter to you if I was a girl or not?"Kenny asked.

Bruiser shook his head. "But you just told me because you also think I'm monster...you don't want to be near me..."

He started to sob again. Kenny reached towards Bruiser, and pushed away the hair covering his eyes, which were dark in the cornea, but had a dark green color. Bruiser looked up in surprise.

"If that were true, I wouldn't be here now," Kenny said. "You did your best to show me a good time, and y'know what? It was pretty nice." Kenny looked at Bruiser in the eye. "Wow...you actually kinda have nice eyes."

Bruiser smiled a bit. "Your blond hair looks cute short."

Kenny chuckled. The two stared at each for a moment. There was something in the air, a sort of spark that slowly drew them towards each other. Before either one had realized it, they had locked lips. They kissed passionately, lost in each other for a few moments. When they parted, Bruiser looked embarrassed while Kenny looked surprised.

"Whoa...that was intense." Kenny said.

"You...you liked it?" Bruiser asked.

"Yeah. Did you?"

Bruiser slowly nodded. "Does...this mean you like me?"

Kenny thought for a moment. "...well, I think I'd be willing to try."

Bruiser grinned from ear to ear, and gave Kenny a bear hug.

"Okay, okay, cool your jets hotshot." Kenny said, patting the half-xeno's back.

"By the way...what was thatpointy thing I felt in the back of your mouth?"

Bruiser opened his mouth wide, and tiny second mouth popped out.

"...huh."

"C'mon, that Shadow guy and my friends are probably worried about us," Kenny said. "Maybe." The two then made their way out of the cave.


End file.
